A lot of my deeper mindset work kicked off following the loss of my mother to suicide in early 2019. 

I have always been a fan of integrative and holistic practices having tried modalities like acupuncture and cupping over the years. Following the loss I explored more deeply and am so thankful I did.

The night I learned my mother was gone my body started shaking. I wasn’t cold but it shook for hours. I later learned that this was a natural way for my body to release stress from the trauma which was a part of the healing process. 

I have since learned that many of us hold stress in our bodies and that practices like somatic therapy are great ways to release these tensions and traumas.

Immediate processing of trauma and getting out of a negative thought loop was something I had to work through on various occasions as well. Tapping, or the practice of exerting pressure on opposite sides of your body with taps of your fingers was a very helpful exercise for me to learn. There are machines that offer this capability but you can do it with your hands on your left and right legs, arms, or head.

On the mindset front breathwork and sound healing were new experiences. They allowed me to feel out-of-body and where I was able to process and ground at a deeper level. I had been aware of the calming power of the breath over the years through yoga and mindfulness practices. The breathwork I refer to here is one where you inhale deeply for a longer period of time with a guide which brings you to a euphoric state.

You’ll be happy and sad at the same time, and that’s okay.

A friend who had lost his dad told me this as I was going through the early processing and didn’t understand what grief was. 

You’re thrown into a darkness but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Time helps but exploring exercises to process and heal help even more, from my experience. 

Through exploration of these various modalities for processing I was able to get to a place of peace and feel connection to loved ones lost. It’s hard to explain in words at times, but I feel their presence and feel that they are right here with me. In addition to working with practitioners I was grateful to find a path to processing the events through having my feet in the dirt, painting and crafting, getting creative in the kitchen, and spilling my thoughts onto paper.

They may be lost but they aren’t out of our lives.

You can take them with you on life’s adventures, in how you live, and in how they shaped you. Think about creating a space for them in your home. 

I returned to my home in San Francisco after spending a month in Michigan following the loss of mom. San Francisco welcomed me with a halo around a full moon. I was standing on the roof just staring at this bright light. I can’t remember ever seeing anything like it. It felt like mom saying hello. You will see signs if you look for them. In books falling over, lights flickering, and in music finding its way to your ears. You can dig into spirituality as much as you want and I’ve been so grateful to feel the peace and connection I do these days.

I find connection and peace in new ways following these losses and I'm so grateful for this. I also find myself looking for and finding insight from them in terms of how I should live and what would make them laugh.

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About Natalie

Passionate about pushing boundaries and being independent from a young age, she holds a BSE of Industrial Engineering and minor in Mathematics graduating Magna Cum Laude from the University of Michigan. She has held roles in derivatives trading at Citigroup, enterprise data sales and operations at numerous technology businesses including Bloomberg and early stage ventures. She led business development efforts for private equity investor Turn/River Capital which was focused around SaaS optimizations and has made a handful of angel investments. She currently resides in Denver with her loving rescue pup Bina and runs revenues in a fractional capacity for several growth tech businesses. Through She's Independent, Natalie offers coaching and mentorship from professional confidence and salary negotiation to business strategy, including go-to-market and fundraising.

Following the loss of her mother to suicide in January 2019, Natalie launched She's Independent while she transitioned from corporate roles to a more entrepreneurial and balanced lifestyle. She grew through the loss and continues on her healing journey to discover what is authentically aligned and enjoys tapping into her professional superpowers that also highlight self-awareness and personal growth.

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Hear us dive into the Life-Death-Life cycle through a webinar accessible here.

We also offer a Mindset course offering ways to get out of your head and better navigate your anxieties and stressors in your life.